Do You Show Up and Throw Up?

As women, rarely are we at a loss for words. We love to talk, chat, share, gossip, text, post, and tweet. The issue isn’t whether or not we’re hard-wired to communicate, but if we communicate TOO MUCH.

The question then becomes, is our communication helping us or hurting us? Is it saving or sabotaging our careers? Is our greatest sin that we overshare and “show up and throw up”?

Announcing that you have a huge hangover after a night of partying, expressing your true feelings about your boss, or revealing your intentions of finding a new job all have the potential to backfire when shared at work. Work friends and best friends are not the same.

Here’s an example of oversharing that I just experienced. I was serving on a board with several other women, and the board president asked who would like present the new information to the entire group at the next meeting. One of the ladies, “Sally”, announced: “I could never do that. I get so nervous speaking in front of a crowd, I’m afraid I would pass out.”

It’s as if Sally was waiting for the perfect opportunity to announce all the things she’s “not good at”.  Her statements reflected poorly on her and damaged her credibility. It’s true that women bond through shared experiences and by being self-deprecating, but that doesn’t always serve us well in the workplace.

Instead of volunteering for the activities that gave Sally the greatest degree of confidence, she felt compelled to expose all of her insecurities. She’s a master at organization, extremely detail-oriented, and takes the most amazing minutes I’ve ever seen. That’s what she should have highlighted.

We should all practice a little restraint when it comes to oversharing. Before you blurt out your life story or air your dirty laundry in a work situation, spend some time developing better boundaries and a better filter.

Words are powerful tools and should be used with extreme caution and consideration. Our parents were right when they tried to teach us to “think before we speak”. Once your words are out there, you can’t take them back. You don’t get to hit rewind and start over, and a heartfelt apology sometimes is not enough to undo the damage that impulsive statements can make.

Let’s move on to the online stratosphere…

Not only are we “showing up and throwing up” in person, but social media is filled with oversharing mistakes. Oversharing online is a deal-breaker, a career-killer, and a dangerous self-sabotaging sin. What happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas if you post it online. It’s out there for all eternity!

Your online presence is available for all to see including current managers, prospective hiring managers, and admission officers. Not only should you think before you speak, but you should think before you post.

Posting pictures, comments, and cartoons on Facebook and other social media sites becomes a permanent part of our social lexicon. Sharing with others is a wonderful quality when done appropriately and professionally. Keep in mind that not only are your friends and family paying attention, but so is your boss (and your co-worker, your client, your professional colleague). If you want to stay employed, you may want to think twice about oversharing.

Here’s what your boss will know about you from your Facebook activity:

• that you were posting online during business hours when you should have been working
• that you went on a ranting rampage and expressed your true feelings about your boss, your company, co-workers, or clients
• that you support controversial political or social positions
• that you have too many dirty little secrets
• that you were lying when you called in sick

These are just a few unfortunate consequences of oversharing that could potentially impact your career. As a general rule, if you wouldn’t say it to your boss’ face, then don’t post it online. And if you do, then you’ll have no one to blame but yourself if that information comes back to haunt you.

Think before you speak. Consider before you post. Keep the gift of gab from turning into the gift of blab. Your professional persona will thank you for it!